I'm Going To Get Myself In Trouble

You may recall that for some baffling reason I've been allowed to name the objective names for one of ISAF Joint Command's target sets. That target set happens to be the insider attackers (also known as green on blue shooters) who have escaped after conducting their attack. I've had a maddingly good time naming these assholes and I have to supress my giggling when a few of them are mentioned in a meeting. I can also see that others often have to supress their own giggling. It brings a bit of joy and humor in this frustrating and stressful headquarters.

Yesterday I was sitting in an update to IJC's officer in charge of intelligence (a 1 star general) on this current target set when at the end he asks about Fuzzy Jackal and who named him. My boss laughed a bit and then indicated that I was the one who named a majority of the individuals on the target set. For a moment I thought I was going to get lectured about professionalism but luckily for me I think the general is just as amused by the objective names as the rest of us.

However, there is a bit more to the story, as there usually is. For some odd reason, a majority of the insider attack perpetrators...and potential perpetrators for that matter...come from one province. The insider attacks are an Afghan wide problem but for reasons unknown to me at this time, this particular province breeds individuals who join the security forces and eventually conduct an attack more than any other province.

So the general tasked us with developing and targeting the network in this province. He mentioned that since 60% of the attackers come from this province we need to go after the facilitation network. Where did that 60% figure come from? An off-hand comment that I made a couple of days prior to a colonel when he asked how many of the attackers come from this province. I made a quick "ball park" guess based off what I was seeing in the reporting. Now my SWAG (scientific wild assed guess) is being quoted by general officers. Shit...I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. Luckily I'm pretty sure that 60% number is somewhat accurate.

The general also tasked us with naming this network so it gets some attention. A colonel quickly spoke up and said...

"Mike is not allowed to name the network."

Damn, fun times are over.