I really wish I didn't have to continue or update this little mini-series I have on civilian/veteran interactions but it still boggles my mind (even though it shouldn't) that often times people really have no idea how to act or even talk to a veteran.
For me, there have been two recent conversations I've had that afterwards I thought to myself, "what in the world did they mean by that?"
A few weeks ago I decided to volunteer for the Peace Corps since the job hunt wasn't working out so well and I figured what the hell, I've got a lot to offer and I'm always up for another adventure. Long story short, they didn't want me because I'm a former intelligence officer. Sucks when you can't even volunteer for something. Anyway, during my conversation with the nice woman at the front desk I mentioned that I had done 3 deployments to Iraq. Her response: "you're remarkably well adjusted. That's very commendable."
What the hell does that mean? You've spoken to me for about 5 or 10 minutes and you know that I'm well adjusted? Are you assuming that everyone who comes back from a deployment is messed up in the head in some way?
The next conversation actually occured yesterday at a BBQ. The BBQ was a "pre-celebration" for some friends of mine who are getting married today and the bride's mom was going around and meeting everyone. I was sitting with my usual group of teacher friends and when introductions began I had my typical sense of doom knowing I would have to explain my current situation.
The bride's mom asked me if I too was a teacher to which I explained in my standard way that I was not, I had recently left the Army. She then remembered that I played soccer with the bride and that the last she met me I was about to deploy; she concluded with, "I'm glad everything worked out for you."
I think she was trying to find a polite way of saying, "I'm glad you didn't get killed over there."
Perhaps I'm reading too much into conversations but I'm pretty sure normal people don't have to deal with odd statements like those. To say, "I'm glad everything worked out for you" without having any inkling of the past 3+ years feels similar to a brush off. "Everything" didn't work seeing how I am currently out of a job or had to waste over a year of my life in Arizona to figure out the Army wasn't working for me. "Everything" certainly didn't work out for the 4 soldiers in my Squadron or the 8 total from the Brigade who didn't come home.
I'm just going to start telling people I'm a janitor.
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